Sex, drugs & alcohol...

Went out on Saturday and was stupid enough to see if I could handle one drink. Night went well until the train home when I felt that feeling I had missed for so long. Every pore in my body started to urinate all over me and I started sweating like a pedo in a lolly store. The train was so stuffy and my gut felt like it wanted to reach my mouth. I was preparing all scenarios in my head. I thought I may have to visit the toilet and let everyone hear me yack, or just yack into my jacket hood if I could not make it. I took long deep breaths whilst my clothes started to become transparent with pore urine. I decided to squat down like a bum. Thank god for this bit of ingenious as the feeling went. It was the longest 10 mins of my life. I swear on my blog that I will never have another drink in my life. Drinking would only cost me more anyway. And we all know the only things cheaper here than in Australia are cherries and......